Author Topic: The Empty Feeling Inside Oneself When People Die Who Are Friends You Know  (Read 1522 times)

Offline PaluRainbowSong

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Hi there,

I have noticed lately in learning of the deaths of 3 people who I know on the island I live on, that simply knowing friends of yours who have died, creates kind of an empty feeling inside of oneself.  Once that happens, I found it difficult to go on line to this site and write anything at all. 

I know I'm getting older (61), but this is a new thing to get used to that I hadn't known before would occur (like a person's eyesight becoming worse once you reach a certain age).  I suppose this is just the first of more deaths to come as we all age and get older, yet even though I have the perfect philosophy to understand what death is really all about and what it means, it fails me when I'm still left with an empty feeling in my gut whenever family members or friends I know, exit this earth for good and you will never see their smiling face or great acts and deeds again!

Just felt like sharing this and wondered if anyone can relate?  Right now I feel kind of alone in my grief and these are strange feelings that I am experiencing.  I hope nobody else feels what I am feeling now.  I'm waiting for these feelings to go away because I don't think they are very productive, but all I can do is think of the people who I used to like so much, and how I will never hear their voice, share with them or know them ever again!

The only thing so far that has made me feel better is creating a song about them and getting out and forcing myself to socialize or add something here.

Palu Rainbow Song



Offline Jim Burney

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Hi Palu
Sorry to hear of your grief.
Grieving is a natural process.
With relatives or close friends it will take quite a long time to come to terms with the deaths.
And you will grieve! Maybe start giving yourself a hard time for any unresolved issues with the person who has passed away. From my own experience the grief does subside in time but you will never forget the people you love.
If grief becomes too hard to bear you should try speaking to a close friend.
This is one time to share your feelings.
Hope everything goes well for you during this difficult time.
Jim

Offline Mark Austin

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Hi Palu,

Sorry to hear about the loss of your loved ones.  My heart goes out to you. I think when you lose someone close to you it takes time for the pain to heal. I don't think you ever truly get "over it" but I do think it gets easier to handle as time goes on. Like Jim said, you will never forget them and you should treasure their memory. For me personally, I think of my Dad every day. I know he's in a better place, but I still miss him very much.

Mark
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that,
but the really great makes you feel that you, too, can become great.”
~ Mark Twain

Offline magicman

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Hi Palu - I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

In the span of three years (fairly recently), I lost 3 working mates to suicide. The oldest was about 52, was a good friend and we had just spend hours together just hanging out about a month before he took his own life. The other two were much younger. Things can change so fast.

I live in a retirement place so the odds of somebody passing on a regular basis is pretty good. Mostly, they're just gone from the lunch table one day.

2015 was a tough year for me. I didn't recognize that for 6-8 months I had been going progressively blind due to cataracts. One day driving my wife I blew through a red light I never saw and stopped driving until I got evaluated and had surgery on both eyes.

I had realized that I had been losing my hearing for a while. It got really bad until I got an evaluation and hearing aids for both ears. The bionic man!!!!!

I like the opinions shared above. Forgive yourself for anything and start remembering the good times. But - you are not alone, my friend. We're with you.

By the way, I still post on a couple of those guys Facebook pages from time to time. One of the guy's mother always writes back to tell me how much she appreciates the great stories and recollections about her son. All of us go through this. Feel the feelings, acknowledge them and try to connect with positive things. 

Be at peace - MM

Offline PaluRainbowSong

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Recently my mother's husband (my step-father) died.  Are there any apps or ebooks on RRW that deal with grief and loss?

Offline PaluRainbowSong

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Re: The Empty Feeling Inside Oneself When People Die Who Are Friends You Know
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2016, 06:45:34 PM »
Thank you very much, Jim, Mark and MM... for your very compassionate and sympathetic views that made the merit of my question concerning death and loss, have greater meaning due to the contexts you were able to share with me.  Like Mark who for so long has been caring for his mother, the loss of my step-father November 19, 2016 is a loss for me and I lost my real father over 10 years ago, but my mom is 80 now (my step-father was 93)... and I hope the day will never come when my mom dies because I know that will hit me harder than anything else!  Fortunately that day is I hope a long ways off, yet I do notice more and more how increasing age waits for no one!  Now all I can do is appreciate the days of life where friends and family are sill living... though I have one female cousin fighting cancer and another cousin who's wife, wife's sister and wife's mother all currently are fighting cancer at this time.  Thanks a lot you guys!!!!  From software and app and ebook plus marketing questions to something like this, let's me see another whole side of all of you and makes me feel like I have some friends on RRW!

Offline snginc

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Sorry for your loss.  Here's something you might be looking for:

Dealing With Death

Product Rights: Master Resell & Giveaway Rights
Added on: 11/12/2011


Recently my mother's husband (my step-father) died.  Are there any apps or ebooks on RRW that deal with grief and loss?